New Year's Resolutions: Doggy- and Kitty-Style!

Whether or not you’re the type to make New Year’s resolutions, you probably have a few that you’d like your furry family member(s) to make (and keep)! Here are some (humorous) ideas to get you started! Let’s add to the list – Share yours with us!

A Dog’s New Year’s Resolutions (2011):

I will not roll in dead bird, chipmunk, squirrel carcasses.

Though oddly irresistible, I will not eat other dogs’ poop.

Though it’s a perfect example of “waste not, want not,” I will not eat my own vomit.

I will not bark each time I hear a doorbell on TV.

I will not bark for no apparent reason (to my humans) between the hours of 4:30 a.m. and 7:30 a.m.

I will not run headlong into the yard after a bath and roll in the mud to wash away the Mango Tango scent my mom loves to bathe me in.

I will shake the rain out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.

The cat is not my playtoy to chase.

A Cat’s New Year’s Resolutions:

I will not chew on my human’s toothbrush and not tell them.

I will not help myself to Q-tips, and I must not leave them under bath mats for the guests to find.

I will stop vomiting on my humans’ brand new leather couch, designer shag area rug, or cashmere pillows instead of the concrete or wood floors, washable cat beds or blankets, or any number of old towels laying around.

I will not drop dead mice on my human’s pillow as a present anymore.

I will not sit on my human’s chest in the middle of the night and stare creepily into her eyes until she wakes up.

I will not stalk and pounce (claws-out) on my humans’ toes under the blankets while they’re trying to sleep.

I will stop doing my best Pet Sematary cat impression by chasing the new puppies across the house, hissing and growling like a feral wildcat, clawing wildly at their eyes.

I will not “play dead” on the stairs while people are trying to bring up groceries or laundry, or else one of these days, it will actually come true.

When my human is working on her laptop, her forearms are *not* a personal cat-hammock.